When trust is broken, it can be devastating. It leaves us reeling with disappointment and feeling disillusioned. It can rock our view of friends, family, certain sections of society and even churches.
If one or two teachers mislead us, all too easily we mistrust educators in general. If a church leader lets you down, you can end up suspicious of all ministers.
Betrayal is possibly the worst kind of broken trust. It is when we are forsaken by someone we believed in. It is a violation of confidence and often involves disloyalty.
It changes our view of people and the world around us. When we are betrayed, utter disbelief shatters something on the inside. It makes us want to retreat and build walls to protect ourselves.
Many years ago, some leaders we trusted nearly split our church. My husband Paul and I were devastated. As the dust settled weeks later, Paul asked me how I was. I clearly remember my reply:
“I feel like I have been marched to the front of our church, stripped of my dignity and paraded on the platform in front of the people.” That’s what betrayal can feel like.
The uncomfortable truth is that we will all experience betrayal’s pain at some point or other. In fact, Jesus warned that it is inevitable:
“Now brother will betray brother… and a father his child; and children will rise up against parents…” Mark 13:12
I don’t know what you have gone through or who has let you down. I do know that you have probably experienced broken trust many times in your life. And it may have affected the way you relate to people.
The enemy wants us to become guarded and wary as a result of life’s difficulties. God wants us to grow more like Him. So how can we come out the other side better and not bitter?
1. Pour out the pain
Betrayal hurts. That’s why we need the Healer. Let’s learn to go to God with our hurts as soon as they happen.
After I shared my pain with my husband, I got into the presence of the Lord and told Him that I hurt. I cried in His presence as He released His healing love. I left my prayer closet refreshed. The road ahead was not going to be easy but I was ready to serve again.
2. Trust again
Again and again in the psalms, we see David declaring to the Lord, “I put my trust in You.” When folk forsook him and his co-leaders let him down, he got his heart healed and then chose to trust again.
Trust is a choice. We must learn from the past but it’s better to grow in wisdom than wariness. Once your heart is healed, I encourage you to declare, “Lord, I put my trust in You!” When we trust God, we can trust others, safe in the knowledge that our lives are in His hands.
Relationships cause more dents in our self-worth than just about anything else. Cutting comments from friends, friction with family or trouble in childhood can wound us within. Breakups and betrayals can cause cracks in our confidence.
Fixing the Foundations brings healing to relationship hurts and is for everyone who wants to be free to fulfil their purpose. If you’re in or near Florida, book your place now here! If you’re in the UK, watch this space for the next date.