After years of prayer, one of my books was picked up by a US publishing house. The company’s chief executive unexpectedly attended a conference in our church. By the end of day one, the deal was sealed! I was sure that everything else would take off like a rocket.
The publishers told me that their main aim would be to get me onto Sid Roth’s show, ‘It’s Supernatural!’ They felt certain he would like the book (and my British accent!). I rallied a team of warriors who took the matter up in prayer. Our office printed bookmarks showing my goals and distributed them to our prayer team.
Just as I landed in Denmark to speak at a conference, I got a call from my publisher. “Sid’s people love your book and they love you!” I was thrilled. As soon as I hung up, I called my husband, texted our prayer team leader and many others! Everyone was excited.
AN UNFORTUNATE MISUNDERSTANDING
A week later, I received an email from my publicist: “I do apologize. There was an unfortunate misunderstanding. My boss and I had crossed wires. The show does not want to feature your book.”
It was like a punch in the guts. I had to go back to all the people who had celebrated the success and put them straight. I felt bad for the intercessors who had assumed their prayers had been answered. I was embarrassed and felt like a fool.
Satan always wants to exploit any embarrassment that you and I feel as a result of our disappointments. He wants us to dismiss our dreams as childish or misguided. The devil wants us to walk away from the hopes that once mattered so much.
Even when we know deep inside that we were destined to accomplish certain things, the embarrassment of disappointment can make us want to throw in the towel. It feels very uncomfortable so it is hard to admit (even just to ourselves) when we feel ashamed.
One of the ways you will know if you have dealt with a matter is by asking yourself how you feel when you look back. Lamentations 3:20 describes how unhealed memories affect us: “My soul still remembers and sinks within me.”
If thinking about certain experiences still causes a churning on the inside, you probably still need to be healed. It is important to deal with such disappointments so that you can arise again in faith and believe God.
DEALING WITH DISAPPOINTMENT
Over the next two years, four different friends in ministry told me that they would help me get a book on a big show. Over and over again, their efforts failed, and my hopes evaporated. I reached the place where I didn’t want to hear the names of certain TV show hosts because they reminded me of my defeats. I wanted to shrink back.
Eventually, I got into the presence of God about this issue. “I’m fed up, Lord. I would rather give up. I feel stupid for trying. Wash away all the embarrassment, I pray.” I left His presence healed and free to believe again. It took Abraham 25 years to receive his promise. He must have felt a fool many times for continuing to believe but as a result of his faith, a very special nation was born.
Don’t let the devil steal your dreams, they are worth fighting for. My new book, The Many Faces of Shame will help you deal with the humiliation of issues like disappointment, failure, your upbringing, underachievement and so much more. It will help set you free to believe for God’s promises to come to pass.