I was working as a VP in a public organization when I was approached to run a new unit at a global company. Before I met the person who was offering me the job, my husband prepared me: “Even if he offers you a huge raise, don’t look excited. Be calm.”
I had lunch with the man and ordered seafood spaghetti. There was a giant shrimp in the middle of my plate and its eyes looked straight at me. We chatted about the opportunity while we ate.
Eventually, the gentleman got onto the subject of money. He offered me more than double my existing salary. When the perks and bonuses were included, it was nearly three times what I was earning!
All I could hear were my husband’s words so I stared at my spaghetti. I locked eyes with the shrimp in an attempt to avoid excitement. Its eyes looked like they were getting wider and wider!
I managed to contain myself until lunch was over. When my soon-to-be-boss was a block away, I called my husband and screamed with delight.
But that wasn’t the end of it. Just as the company was putting the offer in writing, I received a phone call telling me that they were lowering the salary. It was a significant drop and it felt unpleasant.
That weekend we had a prophet friend round for dinner. I shared the story with him, and he responded immediately. “You don’t believe you’re worth their original offer. Until you do, you won’t get it.”
His words could not have been more true. Although I looked to others like a high flyer, I did not believe I was worth that salary. In fact, I felt like a fraud and always had a subtle worry I would be found out one day for not being up to standard.
Proverbs 23.7 says: “As a man thinks in his heart, so he is”. That means the image I have of myself will affect my life. The Hebrew word for think in this verse means to calculate. My heart evaluation of my worth will place a boundary around what I achieve.
Maybe you can relate to my story. You long for a promotion or raise but deep down you doubt your value. You may know that God has called you to accomplish great things but you feel like an imposter around successful people.
Proverbs 27:19 (NLT) says, “As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the real person.” God knows how you feel about yourself in your heart and He wants to heal the hurts that affected your view of you. Your heart is the key to your lasting success.
FROM THE INSIDE
I wanted a salary to make me feel valuable. However, no external assessment will ever heal our self-worth. That’s God’s Job. I had to begin the journey of discovering my worth before I could begin to expect a package I deserved.
I went into prayer and asked the Lord to reach into my heart and start the work of restoring my self-worth. Within forty-eight hours, the original offer was back on the table.
There are certain doors that will only open when we understand our true value. Please don’t allow achievements or positions to build you up because they are temporary. I encourage you to ask God to dig deep in your heart and start a fresh work within.
Join the journey to your best life by allowing the Lord to heal hidden hurts. Refresh VA is March 28th, Healed for Life UK is 2-3 April and Healed for Life MD is May 8-9. God will do more than you could ask or imagine.