Feeling alone can produce a deafening silence. Walking through the door that was once shared with someone special. Sitting by yourself with a knot in your stomach. Loneliness can feel like a cold cloak separating you from companionship and love.
It’s not necessarily that you don’t have anyone in your life. Perhaps you feel a deep, unmet need for companionship. Maybe you can’t relate to the people around you. Perhaps you’re unable to share your thoughts and feelings freely.
Not what it seems
A cold marriage can be a desolate place. People assume you have it all but you feel empty and alone. You long for intimacy, looking back with longing at the times when you shared so much. You feel like you are house sharing with a room mate.
I remember being on my own at a conference. There were crowds in every direction but I felt alone. At a lunch for special guests, ministers dined with their travel companions while I sat by myself at a table for two.
No-one did anything to wound me and yet I felt hurt by the isolation. I looked around pretending to be searching for someone when really I was looking for anyone. Loneliness can feel like rejection.
The way out
David felt that way at times: “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely…” Psalm 25:16. He was crying out to God saying, “I feel completely alone and it hurts!”
Nearly every step of his journey, King David was surrounded by people. Loneliness isn’t always a lack of relationships. If fact, in my view, it is rarely that. Loneliness is an issue of the heart.
It is dealt with in God’s presence. It’s amazing what happens when we openly share our loneliness with the Lord in prayer. As we pour out the pain, He will pour in His liquid love.
“He shall strengthen your heart” Ps 27:14 There is a strength of heart that comes from healing and stability on the inside. The Holy Spirit is our Comforter sent to be with us at all times.
When I first started travelling to the US, I was worried about being alone. Ten hour flights followed by empty hotel rooms. So I went to God in prayer. He revealed Himself to me as my closed companion. Now I love the time by myself. I feel loved.
Please don’t ignore it…
If you’re alone or lonely, I encourage you to be real with God in prayer. Christmas can be one of the hardest time to be alone. Tell Him how you’re feeling and then ask Him to fill you afresh with His love and His companionship.
Of course, the best relationships are born in heaven, so ask God to knit you together with the people He has planned to help you fulfil your purpose. He is faithful.
Often loneliness is based on hidden sadness, so if you are struggling, come along to Healed for Life and allow the Lord to do a work from the inside out.