While I was growing up, I experienced my fair share of hurt but I never considered myself to be wounded. The day I got my school results set my life on a new course.
I was 16 and I did well. The achievement gave me a rushing sense of self-worth. It felt like I’d taken a harmless drug and I liked the effects. I liked them very much.
Are you a junkie?
As the years went on, I continued to seek success. I loved the feeling of significance that it produced in me. Without even realising it, I had become a ‘success junkie’.
Promotions, winning contracts, positions in church, recognition in Christian circles: they all gave me the ‘shot in the arm’ that I needed to feel good about me. And worst of all, because I was succeeding, I thought I was sorted.
“The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked; who can know it? I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the most secret parts.” Jeremiah 17:9-10
This scripture tells us that one of the heart’s greatest capabilities is deceit. Just as the heart is able to love and be loved, the heart is able to deceive and be deceived.
When we believe the lie
I thought I was sorted but I had issues: I craved attention and always looked for affirmation from family and friends. I cared very much what others thought of me and I was often anxious around important people. Big job titles made me feel important.
So God took me on a journey to the truth.
The verse above shows us that our hearts can – and often do – lie to us. My heart told me I was fine but that was a lie, and a big problem. If our foundations are shaky, everything we build is at risk.
If I need people’s praises to build me up then their criticism will be able to tear me down. God wants our validity to come from Him alone.
That is the only way we can be stable and secure. And unless we are healed, that is very, very hard.
You might have made it to adult life without anyone noticing your buried pain. You may have a good education, a great job or a successful ministry.
But if your heart isn’t completely healed, you will never be able to live life to the full.
God is the God of truth. The Holy Spirit is called the Spirit of Truth. He desires truth from us: truth in our innermost being, truth in the secret places of our hearts.
God wants to reveal the issues that are bound up in inside, hampering our lives. Jesus came to expose our inner most thoughts so that we can be free from all hindrances.
“A sword will pierce through your own soul… that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.” Luke 2:35
When we face the truth and acknowledge it deep within, it becomes the key to our healing and freedom (John 8:32).