A few years ago, I was at a Christian Leadership course listening to a brilliant speaker talking about inner needs. He explained that we are all motivated by one of six emotional drivers. We will only experience true fulfilment when our core inner need is met.
Six Inner Needs
- Acceptance – the need to be accepted by others… just the way we are.
- Appreciation – some of us need to be valued and appreciated for what we do and who we are.
- Recognition – others long to have their gifts and contributions recognised and celebrated.
- Respect – this is about how we are treated and addressed. Perhaps, you need to be respected by the people you lead or by friends and family.
- Signifiecance – the need to believe that what we contribute is of real significance, that we make a difference.
- Support – perhaps you need evidence that people are with you by the help they give you.
Why don’t you stop and have a think about yourself. What emotional rewards do you hanker after? Although there may be times when we long for different fixes, there will probably be a dominant driver. For me, one compelled me more than any other.
I always wanted to be recognised for the things that I had accomplished. If I had done well, I would want to talk about it, but if no-one noticed, it would leave me feeling a little cheated. The icing on the cake of any success was the applause that would follow. Without recognition, I didn’t really feel fulfilled.
Maybe you thrive when you are surrounded by support but feel sorry for yourself if there is no-one to help. You love accomplishing pivotal projects with a strong team backing you but quickly feel frustrated if you have minimal assistance. Your sense of success is in part defined by the extent of your support.
Perhaps you need to be respected. When people look up to you and treat you with dignity because of your position or achievements, you feel complete. Without due honour, you feel undermined. It robs your sense of satisfaction.
It is good to learn about ourselves from insightful teachings. However, in the light of what we discover, we must always seek to be transformed into the likeness of Christ. So here is my question: did Jesus seek to meet these sorts of inner needs?
Did Jesus need to be respected or appreciated? Did He need to feel accepted, appreciated or celebrated? Did He need to know that people were with Him?
1 John 2:16-17 says: “For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world. And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever.”
A Better Way
When we unknowingly seek fulfilment through the responses, reactions or behaviour of others, we will always be searching. We will never know true satisfaction. When we take our eyes off what others do or don’t do for us then we can look to God to meet every inner need.
Let’s give up our human fixes in prayer and ask God to help us find fulfilment in Him alone. If you would like the Holy Spirit to shine His light into your heart and remove any inner obstacles, I encourage you to get hold of our books. And come along to Healed for Life, you will be amazed at what God will do!